As a child, I went sometimes to a cemetery, where my mum’s and dad’s parents are resting. I was crossing women in scarfs or bareheaded with something in their hands. I did not understand much, I just observed. Old grannies carrying something. They did not come together. Each came on its own to a different grave. Looking closely, I saw candles in their hands.
A child sees things differently than an adult. I watched the colours of candles. I look forward to seeing them lighting.
Some of these grannies that seemed to me so old at that time had a big watering can. They pull them towards the water pump to take some water. There are plenty of flowers in the cemetery. There is a special ambiance. It is necessary to water the flowers from time to time.
While I think about it now, I have not seen many old men there. I did not inquire about it at that age. Now I know from the books that women are more solid and hang around the world longer.
When I went to the cemetery with my grandpa Rudolf, who buried there my grandma and his bellowed Marry, he said: „ You see, candle grannies are here again.” I felt from his voice that he does not like them much but there was also a sadness that strange candle grannies can go there while my grandma Marry cannot anymore. I did not think about it much. I was 10 years old. I was just talking with my grandpa.
I have remembered this play on words recently. There is November. Remembering belongs to November. On 2 November there is the All Souls Day – the Day of the Dead.
I like candles. I do not know if it is due to candle grannies and childhood when I was fascinated by their light.
I am lighting candles when I wish to make a nice feel in a room or a bathroom, when I take a foam bath. I light candle to create a festive atmosphere. We usually have a candle lighten on a festive table.
Since the last year, as Peter is not with us anymore, lighting a candle became also spiritual. I think about him every time when I light a candle. Whether it is on the corridor where we have his photo or somewhere else. Well, I am thinking about him all the time. We have a vase where we put fresh flowers from our garden. I put there a small gillyflower (the last that was blossoming in the garden), a comfrey and a few marigolds.
I explained to Terezka the meaning of the feast day All Souls Day (Dusicky in Czech). Here, in Switzerland, we remember all saints as well as all death who have nothing to do with a catholic feast day. They are not with us anymore. This day is called and celebrated differently in every country.
La Toussaint – a catholic celebration of all saints on 1 November, while a celebration of all death day is on 2 November.
It is more about meditation in our case. I remember one more thing that I thought about a lot when I went to a cemetery with my grandpa. I did not understand at that time. When my grandpa Rudolf spoke about candle grannies, I did not think about candles. I thought about my mum who was often asking: “Would you like sirloin with a creamy sauce[1]?” and I was looking around to find out where the grannies have their sirloin and creamy sauce. A child can be easily confused. Candle grannie or sirloin with creamy sauce – who would understand.
When grandpa was cleaning the grave off the leafs, I was squirming, I did not like to stay there – it was a bit scary. It depends when we went there.
In summer, it was fine. Probably since there was a lake nearby, I felt a warm weather and looked forward swimming in a while.
On a Christmas Eve (it was our ritual with daddy, sister and grandpa and others from the family before the dinner to let mum to finish the Christmas dinner smoothly), it was fine too. I looked forward to presents under Christmas tree.
However, in November, I did not want to go there and preferred to stay home but I never told it to grandpa.
November was foggy, unkind. When we went back and my mum was serving sirloin with sauce, I was thinking what the meal is made from. Is it from candles or ….
I will be fifty on Sunday. Whether I want or not, I am starting to retrospect. It was a hard and turbulent year. I was smiling when I thought about candle granny. I am also a candle granny now. I light a candle since unfortunately I have to whom. It had to be this way, perhaps. I am granny for Anicka’s Aeryn.
Only sirloin in cream sauce I never made. I will try one day. After all, I have a granddaughter. She has to try a typical Czech sauce from celery and carrot with a good beef. Even if she will grow up in a francophone Geneva, I have to explain it all to her.
I wonder what mess will this play on words create in her head.
Cartigny, 12.11.2020
[1] A Czech dish, meaning roast sirloin in sour cream sauce with dumplings. In Czech „candle” and „sirloin” correspond to a same word „svíčková”.