I am such a pigeon hearted

The most upsetting is that I am not able to offer to girls the same adventures as their dad. There will be cinema, theatre, I will teach them to cook, clean and launder…they know it already. Yes, I paint, read and embroider too. This is as adventurous as if you are plucking feathers in the closed room – the feather is not moving at all.

When Peter was home and not at work, he could always offer something exciting. Sometimes was exciting to catch Peter at home. His programme was so charged. He arrived home by bike, said hello to girls in the meantime to leave for a training in fifteen minutes. We got used to it. He made up for it. When he did not leave in fifteen minutes, experiences were vivid and girls will keep them forever.

Thanks to their dad, Klarka likes camping, running and canoeing, Terka is disciplined, enjoys cycling and sports in general. Anicka loves taking photos. She will surely never forget climbing El Capitan. It was their trip only. She was excellent, available to wake up at a crazy early hour (as a teenager!). Around 3 am. They planned Iceland too.

We will endeavour this one on our own.

Due to these discovery expeditions, girls found out how a sea aster in the sand looks like. They discovered how cold an ocean in California is even during a summer. I was frozen, they were swimming. Terezka and Andulka have a wonderful picture from these times. Klarka had a huge smile from ear to ear.

We saw sequoias and camped in national parks close to warning signs against bears. Peter wanted to run in these places. He already met a bear in Siberia. So what? A bear surprised him and his friend during their summer job in construction of the Baikal Amur Mainline. This was during his University studies. He was not afraid.

An aspiration to run and discover was strong. He took all he needed and swallowed the miles. Peter’s runs were not fifteen minutes jogging but marathon and ultra-marathon training. Never less than three hours.

I can also go with girls but it won’t be the same energy. What’s the use, there are women like this. I do not have such courage. I keep my feet on the ground. Sometimes I wonder that if Peter kept his feet on the ground, he would be still here. Mountains would not take him from us because he wouldn’t be there. Maybe it is not true. Maybe he would perish due to an illness or would be crashed by a car. Nobody knows when his candle burns down. If we would know we would do everything more carefully.

Petr shown to girls that you can have unfolded wings and that it is worth it. They have a good basis, which they will keep in their lives. When they will tell these stories to their children – and Anicka’s baby is already growing in her belly – their dad will be a hero.

I will support them in everything. I have to do something about that courage.

Next time, I will try to reach a roundabout by car.

Cartigny, 15 April 2020