I was touched by the news of a death of a Czech director, writer and actor Jiri Menzel this week. It is sad that people who achieved so much are passing away. I was sad. I am more sensible to the news about deaths this year. A personal experience left its marks.
I am sorry for his wife and small daughters. I know what they are coming through. I know that even if they receive help and are surrounded by kind people, who will try to listen and support them in difficult times, they will be alone with their grief for some time. This coming into terms will be combination of gratefulness, sadness, pain, resistance and healing.
We are heading towards healing, at least a little. It is not constant. It is hard to know when tears will come again. Little joy, success, nature, trees, positive changes and news help. I am happy to receive one.
You might remember that I was pleading my liver to be kind and leave me in peace. I underwent biopsy since it was not certain if the forms in my liver could be harmful or not. After many long months, I have finally the news that the forms are not malign but benign. If we forgot the expert terms, it was just a warning to take a better care of my body. It is fine and I am taking it seriously. I am trying not to get angry, taking rest whenever I can. If the night does not offer me enough sleep, I am not upset. I take it humbly and look forward a regular rest, whenever I can have it. Body is not perpetuum mobile even if we would wish so.
I have received my gallstone in the hospital. It was a solid stone taking a huge space in a gall. It was slightly morbid to find a stone on a bed table after the operation. So what? I have it in a plastic box. I examined its composition since my daughter asked about it. I am waiting for an opportunity to tell me what to do with it. My dear Klarka, my friend Hanka, who knows more about it, believes it is calcium, bilirubin or cholesterol. You have to ask at school or the uncle Google to find out what exactly and what consistence.
That is it. Now, when I have results of biopsy that are good, I will take this bloody stone and through it into concrete. We live in the construction site, so it will not be a problem. Olga Menzel also lives in the construction site. Czech newspaper, including the serious ones, wrote about it. Someone maybe jealous. What a good life she has!
I will tell you something. Combination of construction and death is not an ideal, even in the case you can continue constructing. Your thoughts are elsewhere. Many things that were easy become a burden. You are not sure how it will end. It one big insecurity.
That is it from me. A gallstone into concrete and much force to Madame Olga. She will need it. Her daughters will need hugging and talking as much as possible.
P.S. My mum Eva is holding that stone on the photo. So that you know.
Cartigny, 9.9.2020