My eyesight has worsened since you left. There are many reasons for it. My age, stress, the fact that you are gone and my bad habits linked to it, a genetic predisposition – I am wearing glasses since 12 years old.
It is very interesting for me to see people who do not wear glasses. Some are older or they have only reading glasses or they never had any glasses and would never have them. My eyes were always decorated by round “ashtrays”. Glasses were not accessories in the past. Even if singer Urbankova made an effort and had different glasses every time. Well, Urbankova – it was fine. It was required for her profession and it improved her image. I have heard the word “image” for the first time when the borders were open.
My mother Eva had beautiful glasses with golden round frame and blue-violet glass in a drawer. These were sunglasses, not dioptric glasses, since my mother did not have to wear glasses. She had good eyes. It was worse for my father Pavel. I have looked into that drawer from time to time to see my mum’s “treasures”. In addition to many necklaces, there were many glasses and this miracle among them. I am not sure if she still has them. The bedroom of my parents looks differently than when I was a little.
My previous image was like this. A flesh fly with a perm. Thinking about it, you were courageous to fall in love with me. There were many more beautiful girls around. My eyeglasses with ashtrays. Meaning glass that is very sick, cannot be made thinner and looks like a bottom of an ashtray. They were very heavy to wear. I do not mean it was hard to wear them, I accepted this along with braces for the night, crooked hands and legs. A real beauty. It was hard due to their weight. If you can go to a pub where they still have heavy glass ashtrays (probably one of those worst pub where you can still smoke since the owner changed the restaurant into a private club), put the ashtrays on your eyes and try to fix them around your head. Bingo. You can imagine how it was for me.
I do many things differently since you are gone. I can read only in the morning while I drink coffee. I have a computer in my bed, instead of book, in the evening. Sometimes I have to watch a film to fall asleep. The screen is very close in the bed. I often fall asleep with glasses. Programmes that I watch make me sleep. It is clear that I do not watch interesting documentaries or political debates – even if I would surely fall asleep during the latter, neither porn – since this would not have an effect without you as the prelude would not score the goal, as a sportsman would say – an opportunity would remain in the air. It is clear that neither porn nor masturbation would replace you. It is not the same. So what remains? SERIES and my friend Lucka gives me good tips for interviews on Czech radio two. I still have not developed a taste for podcasts. I would have to put headphones on my ears. I am not sure if I could listen to them without headphones. Probably yes.
So, why do I write about glasses? There are your frames left. We have chosen them together. They suited you. I think they suit me too. At least, girls said so. I made them adjusted for me. First, to multifocal. It did not work. I had a headache and had to focus all the time, put my head on one side to be able to read something. I would soon look like Milos Zeman with his head on the side. I should avoid this. It is enough that I have to work as a woman and a man at the same time. I do not want to turn into a man. I wish to wear skirts and I think about 28 days in skirt challenge. Well, a training suit is a bit more comfortable.
I will wear these men glasses. I have the right glass in them now – for the faraway. I do not see near but it is fine for a faraway. I will not look at the world through your eyes. It is not possible. However, I will wear your glasses along with the engagement ring on my roads, everywhere.
PS I am in Romont today, in Gruyere tomorrow. If you feel above something like seeing a museum of vitrage or smelling a cheese the next day.
Romont, 23.10.2020